Remember that famous scene in Adam Sandler’s hilarious comedy The Waterboy, when a hillbilly played by Rob Schneider screams out, “Oh (expletive), we suck again!”
I kind of felt like screaming that after watching the Rockies for the past few weeks. No matter how you look at it, the Rockies definitely suck right now, and May has once again been a miserable month.
So far in the month of May, the Rockies are 2-10. That’s bad. Their ERA is just over 6, and they are scoring just over 4 runs per game. You don’t have to be Albert Einstein too realize that those numbers are not going to compute into many victories. If you are, on average, giving up more runs that you are scoring, victories are going to be hard to come by, and that is the cold, hard truth.
On the Rockies current road trip, they are 1-6. Gross.
On the Rockies most recent home stand, they went 3-6. Even grosser. Coors Field is supposed to be a haven of victories for the Rockies, but they are just 8-10 at home this season.
Remember when the Great Giambino crushed a walk off home run against the Dodgers back on May 2nd? That was awesome, and was supposed to a galvanizing victory that catapulted the Rockies towards a month of winning and prosperity.
Well, somebody forgot to load the catapult, because since that victory, the Rockies are 1-9. That’s not awesome. After that game, which clinched a rare series victory against the front running Dodgers, the Rockies were 4.5 games back, within striking distance. Now, after their recent May swoon, Colorado is 10.5 games back, a much more challenging mountain for the Rockies to climb. We are only 1/5 of the way through the season, but it’s going to take an epic turnaround for the Rockies to consider even sniffing the top of the NL West standings.
So why do the Rockies suck again? There are plenty of scapegoats that can be thrown under the proverbial bus. Bottom line, they are just not playing good baseball as a team. Their overall team ERA is abysmal – 5.10 (29th). Their starting rotation is not good, and the bullpen is not much better, and that’s why their pitching stats are near the basement of the league. Their team batting average is decent – .255 AVG (11th), but they are not coming up with the clutch hits that win games. Their defense is surprisingly sub-par – .979 FPCT (23rd). Combine all those dreadful statistics and it is no surprise that the Rockies are already eight games below .500 only 34 games into the season.
Sorry to paint such a bleak picture, but the writing is on the wall. The Rockies do indeed suck again, and we can hope only hope that they can turn things around as the dog days of summer loom ahead.
Schneider’s character in The Waterboy is also famous for the quote, “You can do it!” He is right. It’s true the Rockies can do it. It’s only mid-May, and there are plenty of games for the Rockies to redeem themselves.
But they are going to have start playing better baseball soon to get back in contention, or this might be a very long season.
Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.