Remember that famous scene in Adam Sandler’s hilarious comedy The Waterboy, when a hillbilly played by Rob Schneider screams out, “Oh (expletive), we suck again!”
Tulo and the Rox are hurting right now
I kind of felt like screaming that after watching the Rockies for the past few weeks. No matter how you look at it, the Rockies definitely suck right now, and May has once again been a miserable month.
So far in the month of May, the Rockies are 2-10. That’s bad. Their ERA is just over 6, and they are scoring just over 4 runs per game. You don’t have to be Albert Einstein too realize that those numbers are not going to compute into many victories. If you are, on average, giving up more runs that you are scoring, victories are going to be hard to come by, and that is the cold, hard truth.
On the Rockies current road trip, they are 1-6. Gross.
On the Rockies most recent home stand, they went 3-6. Even grosser. Coors Field is supposed to be a haven of victories for the Rockies, but they are just 8-10 at home this season.
Remember when the Great Giambino crushed a walk off home run against the Dodgers back on May 2nd? That was awesome, and was supposed to a galvanizing victory that catapulted the Rockies towards a month of winning and prosperity.
Well, somebody forgot to load the catapult, because since that victory, the Rockies are 1-9. That’s not awesome. After that game, which clinched a rare series victory against the front running Dodgers, the Rockies were 4.5 games back, within striking distance. Now, after their recent May swoon, Colorado is 10.5 games back, a much more challenging mountain for the Rockies to climb. We are only 1/5 of the way through the season, but it’s going to take an epic turnaround for the Rockies to consider even sniffing the top of the NL West standings.
So why do the Rockies suck again? There are plenty of scapegoats that can be thrown under the proverbial bus. Bottom line, they are just not playing good baseball as a team. Their overall team ERA is abysmal – 5.10 (29th). Their starting rotation is not good, and the bullpen is not much better, and that’s why their pitching stats are near the basement of the league. Their team batting average is decent – .255 AVG (11th), but they are not coming up with the clutch hits that win games. Their defense is surprisingly sub-par – .979 FPCT (23rd). Combine all those dreadful statistics and it is no surprise that the Rockies are already eight games below .500 only 34 games into the season.
Sorry to paint such a bleak picture, but the writing is on the wall. The Rockies do indeed suck again, and we can hope only hope that they can turn things around as the dog days of summer loom ahead.
Schneider’s character in The Waterboy is also famous for the quote, “You can do it!” He is right. It’s true the Rockies can do it. It’s only mid-May, and there are plenty of games for the Rockies to redeem themselves.
But they are going to have start playing better baseball soon to get back in contention, or this might be a very long season.
Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.
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9 comments
Dave
May 15, 2012 at 9:32 AM (UTC -6)
So, is the photo of Tulo and the word “suck” in the title a coincidence?
Logan Burdine
May 15, 2012 at 9:35 AM (UTC -6)
Official Blake Street comment on picture and title above — no comment.
Travis Lay
May 15, 2012 at 9:48 AM (UTC -6)
lol…that picture is bad…and good.
Zach Cohn
May 15, 2012 at 11:54 AM (UTC -6)
wow…i didn’t make that connection the first time…now i can see it….my bad
eric
May 15, 2012 at 3:28 PM (UTC -6)
yeah, if you have a dirty mind, that is a VERY bad picture. LOL
But the Rockies ARE stinking up the diamond this year. I’m hopeful that they can turn things around.
Montana Steve
May 15, 2012 at 4:00 PM (UTC -6)
I was at two of the games this weekend (Saturday and Sunday) at LA and at no point did this team look like contenders.
Simone
May 15, 2012 at 8:09 PM (UTC -6)
Let’s forget about the Rockies contending this year. It’s not going to happen.
The Rockies need to focus on having a shot NEXT year. The club needs to figure all this shit out this summer so we have a chance next year. This year was over about 2 weeks ago.
JD
May 16, 2012 at 1:02 PM (UTC -6)
I find it hilarious that anyone thought the Rockies might contend this year. Anyone could see before the season started that we had assembled our worst pitching staff since the advent of the humidor. As for that front-page poll about wins this season, make it 70 instead of 65 so everyone can feel good about voting “no”.
Montana Steve
May 17, 2012 at 4:22 PM (UTC -6)
Speaking of pitching….WHY DOES ESMIL ROGERS HAVE A JOB? It’s painfully obvious he can’t find the zone with a map. As I type this, he has just come into the game against the D-Bags and hasn’t recording a single out, while allowing two runs to come around.