I do my best, most of the time, to stay topical within this blog: Rockies first and baseball second. My Twitter account has no limits and I tweet about baseball, golf, current news events and even things that make no sense (tucking in your t-shirt). But sometimes I am an angry guy and I need a place to vent. If I do not vent I am liable to do something crazy like walk across the street to Wal-Mart and by a Butterfinger and EAT IT!
I can’t do that. There has been too much hard work over the past two years, nearly, to drop the weight that I have and I won’t break now. I would rather go off-topic a bit here and save myself the regret later. So endure this piece and I promise, Rockies fans, I will do a better job staying on-topic in the future.
Things I hate:
(starting with baseball)
RBI stats for leadoff hitters
I am starting to see expanded statistics displayed on some TV broadcasts but Root Sports continues to demand that RBI is a stat that is shown for every player. Who cares how many RBI Eric Young Jr. has in 2012? Is that relevant in any way to show his value to the Colorado Rockies? No, it is not. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Coming in a close second is that they continue to show leadoff hitters batting average when his on-base average is far more telling and important.
Citing wins as the end all be all stat for pitchers (Cliff Lee)
Yesterday morning on my way to the golf course Mike and Mike were talking about the Philadelphia Phillies and said that Cliff Lee has been awful this year because he has one win (he won his second game last night against the Washington Nationals). If I tell you that a pitcher has one win what can really be derived from that statement? Nothing. NOTHING can be derived from that statement. It can mean many things: the pitcher has been awful or his supporting offense has been awful or maybe a combination, but nothing certain can be taken from that statistic.
Pitcher A: 5 wins, 3.88 ERA, 1.422 WHIP, 9.6 H/9, 3.2 BB/9 and 8 K/9
Pitcher B: 2 wins, 3.73 ERA, 1.181 WHIP, 8.9 H/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 8.5 K/9
Who would you rather have? Lee or Vance Worley (pitcher A)? Give me Lee, please. Hell, Christian Friedrich has five wins. I can learn as much about a pitcher based on his wins as I can learn about what it is like to live in New Jersey based on those orange people from MTV.
Gym guy who barely works out, but hangs out in the locker room and chats…naked
I have been at the gym early a lot these past few weeks. I switched jobs about a month ago and it has made me change my schedule so I get to the gym by 5:30am each day and have to shower at the gym before work. It makes more sense for me. And in this new routine I have been reintroduced to the guy at the gym who sort of walks on the treadmill for like seven minutes and then leisurely walks to the weights to do three sets of 10 consisting of weight that isn’t challenging before retiring to the locker room. The locker room is where he really gets his work done: with his mouth. He takes precautions to NOT cover up while he chats with anyone who will listen. But he doesn’t stop there. The guy at my gym will talk to the guy in the shower next to him! Listen, fella, I am showering and pretty much the second to last thing I want to do in the shower is TALK TO ANOTHER GUY! (I think we all know what the last thing I want to do in the shower is…) You don’t even really need to shower because no sweat hit your body while “working out” in the gym.
Who raised these guys? Didn’t they have a dad to teach them the general boundaries that all men live by? You know; look straight ahead while at the urinal, don’t touch another man’s grill, nail polish is akin to makeup and neither hit a man’s body and while we shouldn’t be utterly ashamed and shy with our bodies we shouldn’t parade around the men’s locker room without an attempt to cover up…and the shower area is like a library: shut up.
When a stoplight changes but no one is going the other direction
This one happens too often to me now that I am driving pretty early in the morning four or five days a week. I am cruising along only to have to stop at a stoplight where no cars are going the perpendicular direction. I look left, right, left and right again and there are no cars in sight. Why the light changed is beyond me. Maybe the light thinks “gee, I haven’t had any traffic come from that direction in a while, maybe I missed the sensor being tripped so I will change.” And then the real kicker is when the light finally goes yellow for the crossing traffic a car finally pulls up to the light – now red light. While I sat at a red light and no one was around to use the green light for crossing traffic I get impatient. When my light finally goes green and after waiting what feels like four hours (and is probably only like 30 seconds) I start to cross the intersection and a car finally pulls going the other way only to run into a fresh red light…there has to be a better way! Technology has to be advanced enough by now that stoplights can be smarter.
My last rant comes from watching the “Big Break Atlantis Reunion” episode on DVR last night. For those who do not know the Big Break is a reality show on the golf channel where 12 or 14 golfers have a chance, through a series of competitions – some of which are not even close to real golf, to earn their way onto one of the mini-tours in hopes of getting to the PGA or LPGA tour someday.
I often watch the show because they have female contestants and a good looking female golfer is about at the top of my Hottest Women on Earth food chain.
Anyway, onto the rant: last night they showed short clips of a few of the girls getting the call that they had been selected to be a part of the show. Many of the girls were at home, one was at the gym and another on the golf course. They all answered the phone, on speaker phone**, and they all acted completely surprised. Why? WAS THE FACT THAT A TV CREW WAS FILMING YOU ANSWERING THE CALL NOT A DEAD GIVEAWAY?!?! Big Break isn’t the only show to run these sorts of clips, you see it for all kinds of reality TV shows. The Biggest Loser would do this all the time with Bob showing up on some fat guys doorstep to tell him he was going on the show. The guy would act surprised when there was a TV CREW INSIDE HIS HOUSE WATCHING HIM OPEN THE DOOR.
In the words of the great Charles Barkley: “It’s trrrble”
…There has to be a psychologist somewhere that specializes in helping me with my obvious problems, right?
**I think of The Apprentice where the contestants are always holding their cell phone away from their face and using the speaker phone. They are obviously doing this so the camera can catch the audio from the person they are speaking to. This has become some sort of stupid trend now. I see people (saw a lady this morning in her Audi) talking on their phone using the speaker phone. I don’t care who you are talking to and I certainly don’t need to hear your side of the conversation much less the other end of the call. If you must use your cell phone please don’t use the speaker phone. You aren’t Jose Canseco and you aren’t talking to Trace Adkins in hopes of winning Donald Trump’s …er…NBC’s money to give to a charity.