Continue reading »]]> John Denver is probably turning over in his grave. Remember his iconic song “Rocky Mountain High”? Great tune. Well, Colorado’s beloved baseball team has reached a new Rocky Mountain Low.

John Denver, may he rest in peace, would not be happy with the Rockies right now.

The Rockies have hit Rox bottom, posting a putrid 33-52 record going into the All-star break. Almost twenty games below .500! It’s almost one of the franchise’s worst records ever going into the mid-summer classic. They were 31-56 in 2005, and 33-54 in 1993, which was the Rockies inaugural season.

And, if they had not pulled out their most recent victory, they would have garnered the dubious distinction of having the worst record in baseball at the All-Star break. Currently, the Rockies are a half-game better than the Houston Astros, who have only won nine games on the road this year! The Rockies have the same record as the Cubs for gosh sakes, who have been loveable losers for over one hundred years.

So, as sad as it is to say, the Rockies are officially one of the worst teams in baseball. Wow…I don’t think I have ever written that before. Let’s be honest. The Rockies have stunk up the place historically, still have never won their division, and have only made the playoffs three times. But they have generally been at least a middle of the pack type of team. Good, but not great. Sometimes competitive, but not elite.  Respectable at times.

Well, this year the Rockies are not competitive or respectable. I think laughable is a more appropriate word. According to our friends at ESPN.com, the Rockies POFF (% chance of making the playoffs) is at 0.4%. And that miniscule number is even still too high, and it’s laughable to even mention the playoffs and the Rockies in the same sentence. The Rockies still have 76 games left in the 2012 campaign, but for all intense and purposes, the season is over. That’s depressing. And on the Rockies current pace, this will be the Rockies worst season in the history of the franchise. That’s even more depressing.

I realize the Blake Street Bulletin has been emanating a lot of negative energy regarding the Rockies disappointing season recently, so instead of just bashing the team and the front office, and dissecting why this season has been a mess, I’m just going to rattle off creative ways to say the Rockies are lousy.

If the Rockies were sponsored by a local microbrewery, it would be the Rock Bottom Brewery.

The Rockies pitching staff loves frequenting a local Denver bar called Altitude, in honor of their astronomical ERA. The Rockies team ERA is 5.26, which is dead last in the league. They are the only team in baseball with a staff ERA that is over five.

It they were leasing a property, they would have to rent out the basement. The Rockies are in last place in the National League West.

The official department store of the current Rockies team is Lowe’s, based off their current win total.

If the entire Rockies team went snorkeling right now, they would be swimming in the Mariana Trench.

The Rockies current clothing store sponsor is Guess, because you never know what kind of offense the Rockies will produce. They can score eleven runs one game, and then score ten runs over the next six games.

The Rockies favorite television show is “Lost,” because sometimes the Rockies defense looks lost on the diamond. Their 68 errors are the fourth most in baseball.

Their favorite daytime soap opera has to be “General Hospital,” because of the key injuries the Rockies have endured. (i.e. Tulo, Nicasio, etc.)

The Rockies favorite room in most homes is the cellar.

They truly have reached a new Rocky Mountain Low. Sorry John Denver.

Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.

Continue reading »]]> There’s a saying on HBO’s hit television show Game of Thrones, and that’s “You Win or you Die.”

Well, from the Rockies perspective, not only are they dead right now – due to a nauseating amount of losing recently – but their heads have been chopped off, just like poor old Ned Stark.

In fact, the Rockies have been so bad, losing 14 of 18 games; I would rather re-watch every Game of Thrones episode over and over again, than watch these Rockies losses continue to pile up.

So in honor of the best show on television, I will use Game of Thrones characters and concepts as a foundation for this article, and relate them to the Rockies travesty of a season. If you have never seen Game of Thrones, I apologize, because this article won’t make much sense, and because you are missing out on an outstanding show. I implore you to watch this amazing television experience, which just wrapped up its second season, because it’s way more entertaining than the Rockies right now.

The current king of the Seven Kingdoms in GOT is a putrid little squirt named King Joffrey. He came to power because of his conniving mother – Queen Cersei Lannister. We will equate Joffrey to Dan O-Dowd, the Rockies general manager. Why? Because he has all the power, makes terrible, questionable decisions, and nobody likes him.

Wait I take that back. One person likes him, and that is Queen Cersei. Cersei, naturally, is the Monforts, because Dan O’Dowd is their prized possession that they so dearly love and protect. Even if everybody in the seven kingdoms wants to see him removed from his position, and stripped of his crown. King Joffrey (O’Dowd) is despised by all, but safe on the Iron Throne (General Manager), because he hides behind the skirt of his mother the Queen (Monforts).

Then there is the Hand of the King. This person is the grace’s right hand man that deals with the King’s everyday matters.  His name is Tywin Lannister. As you might have guessed, we’ll say that is Jim Tracy. And just like Tracy, Tywin is very likeable and eloquent, and isn’t hated by the masses. He is also a seasoned general that has lived through many wars, and has endured many battles. Tracy has managed over 1,600 games in his managerial career.

But nonetheless, Tracy is associated with a regime that is due for a change. The masses, or Rockies fans if you will, are thirsty for a rebellion. King Joffrey and Cersei must be usurped. And when a king is overthrown, those in power around him are generally not retained. Once O-Dowd is finally usurped, do you think the new GM will keep around the same manager? No way. And when Joffrey is finally toppled, there will be no mercy shown to any Lannister. (That also means Bob Apodaca should be shown the door as well, by the way.)

There are other character parallels between that show and The Show. Everybody who watches GOT loves a character called Tyrion Lannister. He is the Lannister that everyone likes, so it seems logical to compare him to Troy Tulowitzki, the Colorado Rockie that everyone likes.  Tyrion plays the “Game of Thrones” very well, just like Tulo plays the game of baseball quite well. They are both smart, cunning, have great hair, and are a hit with the ladies. They also both also contain an Achilles heel.  Tulo’s main weakness is that he can’t seem to stay healthy for an entire season. Tyrion’s main weakness is that he is a dwarf  which leads many to underestimate him.  I know what your thinking – Associating Tulo to a dwarf is kind of low (pun not originally intended) But they are both such likeable personalities, I had to draw the comparison. Besides, Tulo is an all-star short-stop, while Tyrion is an all-star short-man.

Another swashbuckling character on GOT is a man named Jon Snow. He is Carlos Gonzalez.  They are both very good looking, both outstanding athletes, and both are experts at wielding a sword/bat. Jon Snow could be the best sword fighter on GOT, and Cargo might be the best pure hitter on the Rockies roster. Jon Snow never got to know his mother because he is the bastard-son of Ned Stark (the honorable dude with the chopped off head). CarGo never really knew his “baseball mother,” having never played for the team who drafted him. He was actually drafted by the Diamondbacks, traded to the A’s, and then shipped here in the Matt Holliday trade.

Jon Snow is just like Cargo, but they live in different realms.

CarGo and Jon Snow are both standouts on their respective teams. Jon is a key member of the The Knights Watch – the ancient brotherhood that protects the realm, while Cargo is a key member in the Rockies future plans. He currently leads the Rox in batting average, home runs, runs batted in, and runs scored. Both the Rockies lineup and the Knights Watch ranks would be a joke without these two studs.

The Mother of Dragons

Perhaps the most enthralling plot of GOT revolves around Daenerys Targaryen. Not only is she a bodacious blond bombshell that is an awesome alpha-female, she possesses some thing that nobody else has in the entire realm – and that is dragons. That’s right, she is “the Mother of Dragons” and once her dragons grow up, there’s no telling what kind of power shift we will witness. So I am going to equate the dragons in GOT to pitching in the MLB. Because whoever has dragons will have the power, and that is also true about pitching. Winning teams always have good pitching, and the Rockies pitching right now is dreadful. How dreadful? On the Rockies current pace, their starters will set the all time mark for the highest ERA for a starting rotation. The all-time mark!

King Joffrey doesn’t have dragons, and that should lead to his demise someday. Dan O-Dowd doesn’t have legitimate pitching, and that should lead to his demise as well. How many chances to compile a worthy pitching staff are we going to give O-Dowd? Only two pitchers on our roster are home grown, and that includes the recently signed cast-off Jeff Francis. Not only has O-Dowd failed to find stellar arms in the draft, but he has traded away solid arms as well. Jason Hammel looks to be a lock to play in the All-star game while Jeremy Guthrie has been relegated to the bullpen.

Winter is coming. That’s a common saying in GOT. It refers to the long seasons that occur in the Westeros, which is the where the show takes place. Summers can last for years on end, and so can winters too. And winter is indeed coming in Game of Thrones. Well, winter can’t come fast enough for the Rockies, because there is no question this is going to be a long, long season.

The “Winter is Coming” term also eerily refers to the awakening of an ancient breed of creatures who have been hibernating for years known as White Walkers. The White Walkers are savage beasts who transform those they kill into zombies that then join their army. But to tell you the truth. I say bring the White Walkers on. Enduring an attack from mystical creatures sounds better than enduring the Rockies season right now, because it’s truly becoming hard to watch.

Season Three of Game of Thrones will probably start next April. So will the Rockies 2013 season.  I can’t wait for both.

Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.

Continue reading »]]> Now that’s more like it.

The Rockies play over the last week has been a nice breath of fresh air.

In the Month of May, the Rockies stunk up the place. In fact, they were downright putrid, and pretty much played the team out of contention. On April 30^th, the Rockies were exactly .500, and 4.5 games out of first. On May 30^th, they were already 9 games under .500, and 11.5 games behind the front-running Dodgers. In the month of May alone, the Rockies suffered through a 5-game losing streak, a 4-game losing streak, and a 6-game losing streak. It’s easy to see how the Rockies plummeted down the standings.

But as the calendar turned from May to June, the Rockies may have turned over a new leaf, and their play of late has them smelling like roses. They have won six of seven, and even had a nice 5-game winning streak of their own, their longest of the 2012 campaign. They captured their first sweep of the season, albeit against the lowly Astros, and also won a series against the Dodgers, making up ground in the process.

Are the winds of change swirling in the Rockies favor? What has caused this recent breath of fresh air to circulate through the Front Range? Here are some reasons for the Rockies recent resurgence.

Dexter Fowler is hot, and the Rockies are finally getting some production from the leadoff spot. Since Jim Tracy inserted Dex at the top of the Rockies line up seven games ago, he has jumpstarted the Rockies offense. He is 15 for 27, with six walks, a double, two triples, and two home runs. More importantly, the Rockies are 6 and 1. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not. But Marco Scutaro was not getting it done at the top of the lineup and Fowler currently is doing exactly that. Dexter is setting the table, and his teammates are driving him in. Dex has scored 13 runs in the last seven games, scoring at least one run in every contest.

Carlos Gonzalez is even hotter, and is locked in at the plate right now. During the Rockies recent home stand, “Lil Pony” was the Rockies main horse, posting big offensive numbers. He hit 15 for 30 (.500), with 4 HR and 9 RBI. His four home runs were in consecutive at bats, tying a major league record. He currently ranks among the national league elite in many statistical categories – .332 average (6^th), 14 HR (2^nd), 45 RBI (2^nd), 45 runs (1^st), 67 hits (3^rd), and a nice .634 slugging percentage (1^st). Cargo is earning his coin right now and his sizzling hot bat is a pleasure to watch.

The starting pitching is steady. Let’s be honest. It’s no secret the Rockies have a highly questionable starting rotation. But they are all in with their younger arms, and the new rotation held up last week. Outman’s most recent outing produced many outs, even if his start was too brief (3 innings) to produce a victory. Christian Friedrich and Alex White both pitched brilliantly in their last appearances, and both spearheaded Rockies victories.

Weak opponents. Let’s not get carried away here. The Rockies swept the Houston Astros, who are not good.  And then they won two of three from the Dodgers, who were without superstar Matt Kemp. Beating a team that has its best player shelved on the disabled list is no great feat.

Let’s see if the Rockies can continue this hot streak against stauncher competition and away from home. They travel to Arizona for a three game set, and then return home for some inter-league play against the Angels, who are just as hot as the Rox right now. The Rockies are still a below .500 team with a lot to prove, but there is no question their play of late has been a refreshing breath of fresh air.

Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.

Continue reading »]]> Remember that famous scene in Adam Sandler’s hilarious comedy The Waterboy, when a hillbilly played by Rob Schneider screams out, “Oh (expletive), we suck again!”

Tulo and the Rox are hurting right now

I kind of felt like screaming that after watching the Rockies for the past few weeks. No matter how you look at it, the Rockies definitely suck right now, and May has once again been a miserable month.

So far in the month of May, the Rockies are 2-10. That’s bad.  Their ERA is just over 6, and they are scoring just over 4 runs per game. You don’t have to be Albert Einstein too realize that those numbers are not going to compute into many victories.  If you are, on average, giving up more runs that you are scoring, victories are going to be hard to come by, and that is the cold, hard truth.

On the Rockies current road trip, they are 1-6. Gross.

On the Rockies most recent home stand, they went 3-6. Even grosser. Coors Field is supposed to be a haven of victories for the Rockies, but they are just 8-10 at home this season.

Remember when the Great Giambino crushed a walk off home run against the Dodgers back on May 2^nd? That was awesome, and was supposed to a galvanizing victory that catapulted the Rockies towards a month of winning and prosperity.

Well, somebody forgot to load the catapult, because since that victory, the Rockies are 1-9. That’s not awesome. After that game, which clinched a rare series victory against the front running Dodgers, the Rockies were 4.5 games back, within striking distance. Now, after their recent May swoon, Colorado is 10.5 games back, a much more challenging mountain for the Rockies to climb.  We are only 1/5 of the way through the season, but it’s going to take an epic turnaround for the Rockies to consider even sniffing the top of the NL West standings.

So why do the Rockies suck again? There are plenty of scapegoats that can be thrown under the proverbial bus. Bottom line, they are just not playing good baseball as a team. Their overall team ERA is abysmal – 5.10 (29^th).  Their starting rotation is not good, and the bullpen is not much better, and that’s why their pitching stats are near the basement of the league. Their team batting average is decent – .255 AVG (11th), but they are not coming up with the clutch hits that win games.  Their defense is surprisingly sub-par – .979 FPCT (23^rd). Combine all those dreadful statistics and it is no surprise that the Rockies are already ­­eight games below .500 only 34 games into the season.

Sorry to paint such a bleak picture, but the writing is on the wall. The Rockies do indeed suck again, and we can hope only hope that they can turn things around as the dog days of summer loom ahead.

Schneider’s character in The Waterboy is also famous for the quote, “You can do it!” He is right. It’s true the Rockies can do it. It’s only mid-May, and there are plenty of games for the Rockies to redeem themselves.

But they are going to have start playing better baseball soon to get back in contention, or this might be a very long season.

Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.

Continue reading »]]> The Colorado Rockies took a flyer on Michael Cuddyer last off-season, when they signed the free agent to a three year, 31.5 million dollar contract.  So far, he’s been a great hire, and his bat has been on fire. He is hitting .345, and leads the teams in RBI (11), hits (19) and total bases (35).

Dan O-Dowd has been known to receive ire for some of the people he has acquired, when he is a buyer. But not Cuddyer, who has single-handedly made sure the Rockies win column has gone higher. In the last series alone, he drove in the winning run in two of the games, making sure the Rockies won at the wire. His late game hits have been lethal, like the bite of a vampire.

He fits right in with the team, and looks darn good in Rockies attire. Unlike many older Rockies, his career is not about to expire. At 33 years old, he is not due to retire. He obviously cares about winning, leaving no questions about his desire. He sets a good example for the rest of the team, helping to inspire. The more he continues to produce, the more he will be admired. All the Rockies should aspire, to comport themselves like Cuddyer.

All reports seem to categorize Cuddyer as a genuinely nice guy. Whatever transpires on the field, he doesn’t argue with umpires. He also has a sense of humor, as is evidenced in the Rockies commercials, that are reminiscent of a satire. There is also a rumor that Cuddyer is a good singer, and could be the leader of a choir.

If not for Cuddyer, the Rockies early season could have gone haywire and been a quagmire. He has been a rock in Tracy’s line up, like a sapphire. He has done everything that the coach requires, almost like a squire.

He is a surefire professional hitter, is calm at the plate, and makes the opposing pitcher perspire.

If I said that he is not one of the main reasons the Rockies are above .500, you would call me a liar.

The Rockies are rolling right now, just like a tire, having won three series in a row. But can they keep this up for an entire season, or will they later misfire? As a Rockies fan, it is my job to inquire. I don’t want to get my hopes too far up, and then become a crier, if the consequences become dire.

If the Rockies don’t want to be mired in losses like the year prior, they will rely heavily on Cuddyer. Let’s hope he stays on fire. 

Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.

Continue reading »]]>

Question marks still surround this year's squad.

As we steamroll into the 2012 baseball season, there is always a massive amount of hearsay and conjecture. Emphatic statements are exclaimed, and intriguing questions are asked. That’s the beauty of covering a 162 game season for the Colorado Rockies.  The plot lines and twists that will unfold on Blake Street this summer are impossible to predict, but captivating to witness.

It is our job to make bold exclamations and ask the tough questions. Then the fun part is to pontificate, marinate, and elaborate on how we think the Rockies will do this season.

Here are some exclamation points (!) and question marks (?) surrounding the Colorado Rockies 2012 baseball campaign.

There are a glaring number of new faces in the Rockies clubhouse this year! Will the roster turnover help or hurt the Rockies?

Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio, Chris Iannetta, Ian Stewart, Ty Wigginton, Aaron Cook, Seth Smith, Matt Lindstrom, Jason Hammel, Ryan Spilborghs, et al?  The Rockies had a disappointing year in 2011 to say the least. So in the off-season, Dan O’Dowd cleaned house, and signed a whole new cast of characters for 2012. Will Michael Cuddyer, Marco Scutaro, Jeremy Guthrie, and all the other newcomers help turn Rockies fans’ frowns upside down? Will the new additions change the culture of the clubhouse? Time will tell. But you can’t blame O’Dowd for trying to switch things up after last year’s dismal record.

Jamie Moyer, who is literally almost 50 freaking years old, is in the Rockies starting rotation! Will he able to still compete at the Major League level?

So far, not so good, as Moyer suffered a loss in his first outing. But in his defense, there was some shoddy defense being played behind him. Moyer performed well enough in spring training causing Jim Tracy to give him a genuine vote of confidence. And when he does record his first victory in purple pinstripes, he will become the oldest pitcher ever to win a baseball game. That’s pretty cool.  Do you know what would be even cooler though? If Moyer could live up to his spot in the rotation and contribute to a winning team.

The third base position was a gaping black hole last year in the Rockies lineup! Can the Rockies fill that void?

Third base was an issue last year. Abbot and Costello would have been proud, because “I don’t know” actually was on third. The Rockies finally gave up on Ian Stewart. Wigginton played sparingly and but not that effectively. They dabbled with Chris Nelson, Johnathan Herrera and even let Jordan Pacheco get some playing time. Overall, the Rockies third basemen in 2011 combined to produce a .222/.280/.354 slash line with only 18 home runs. This season, a big question mark still looms. The Rockies signed Casey Blake in the off-season, but he is already cut. Chris Nelson started opening day, but he doesn’t provide much power. In fact, on ESPN.com right now, there are no third basemen listed on the Rockies roster.  Who is going to step up, because the position has to be occupied by someone? We shall see.

Apparently there was more bad blood between Tulo and Ubaldo then we knew about! Can you believe these two ex-teammates become enemies so quickly?

Ubaldo Jimenez used to be a Rockies fan favorite.  Now, because of recent events, he is probably Public Enemy Number One. After obviously intentionally plunking Tulo, he then ran to the Rockies shortstop ready to fight, acting like Tulo stole something from him. Then he didn’t apologize. Tulo didn’t steal anything from you Ubaldo. The Rockies just signed him to a contract extension, and they didn’t give you one, which in hindsight, is looking like a great decision.

Cargo and Tulo are two absolute studs in the prime of their career! Can they both perform at a high level simultaneously to spearhead a Rockies run to the playoffs?

Successful teams in the Major Leagues always receive production from the heart of their lineup. You don’t have to be Billy Beane to realize the #3 and clean-up hitters in any lineup are depended on to produce. The league’s elite teams generally have solid hitters in the 3 and 4 holes. If the Rockies want to contend, their leaders must lead, and Cargo and Tulo are the unquestionable leaders of this team moving forward. They both have he capability to post MVP type of numbers. But they have never really been crushing the ball at the same time. If both Cargo and Tulo can find their groove, the Rockies could be a legitimate force.

In almost 20 years of existence, the Colorado Rockies have never won the NL West! Is this the year they breakthrough, and capture their first-ever division crown?

Well, with their record at 1-2, if they stay on this pace, their final record will be 54-108. That’s not good.  All kidding aside, there is always a chance for the Rockies to win the West, even though they are not the favorites this season. Last year, many prognosticators said the Rockies would win their division. Instead, the Rox severely underperformed, failing to reach their lofty expectations. This year the expectations are not as high. Perhaps with that burden lifted, they will be able to piece it together, and grab their first division title. It’s going to be a great time finding out!

Follow Zach Cohn on twitter @zscohn1.

Continue reading »]]> It’s hard to fathom its already been four years since “Rocktober” fever engulfed the city of Denver, Colorado.  All of Blake Street had a smile of their face, as an entire city was collectively transfixed on the little team that could.  The Colorado Rockies went on a roll for the ages, one that will be etched into the history books forever.  And now, unfortunately, the Rockies are back in the basement of the National League West, finishing the year several games below .500, and playing like the mediocre Rockies teams of years past.

The good old times.

But we should not wallow in the sorrow of this season’s misfortunes, whether it be the glaring pitching issues, nagging injuries, or abysmal hitting with runner’s in scoring position.  I know we live in a “what have you done for me lately” society, but a little bit of reminiscing can never hurt.  So take a moment to turn back your mental clock, and reflect on the amazing run the Rockies made last October.  Even without the help of Denzel Washington urging us along, let us – Remember The Rockies.

Remember when the Rockies won 21 of 22 games, bulldozed their way through the playoffs, and gained a birth in the Fall Classic.  It was the first Rockies playoff appearance in 10 plus years, and the first time the Rockies had ever won a national league pennant.  In the sport of baseball, a 5 game winning streak is impressive.  But 21 of 22?!  That’s preposterous.  An 11-game winning streak.  One loss.  And then a 10 game win streak.  All in the thick of a playoff push.  It was mind-boggling.  The Rockies, a team historically associated with losing, could not be beat.

Remember when Todd Helton blasted that walk-off home run to beat the Dodgers during the beginning of the epic run? (It was the 3^rdvictory of the first win streak.)  Many feel that resounding walk-off bomb became the catalyst for the entire streak. I would concur.  It was also a special moment, because Denver saw a rare display of unbridled emotion from Father Todd.  It seemed as though a volcano of playing for an unsuccessful team for 11 years erupted, as he hurled his helmet into the air and did a superman jump into the arms of his teammates at home plate.

This was my buddy and I following the play-in game - pure joy.

Remember the Rockies vs. Padres play in game?  I do vividly. I was there.  And I can honestly say I don’t think I will ever go to a better baseball game for the rest of my life. The 163^rd game of the year.  Win and you’re in the playoffs.  Lose and golf season starts early.  The exhilaration and excitement that I experienced during that game was indescribable. The atmosphere was beyond electric.  It was nuclear.  The game was a 13 – inning masterpiece.  It had everything.  Multiple home runs, clutch defense, questionable umpiring, inning ending double plays, timely strike outs, and an eye-popping finish.  Down by two in the bottom of the 13^th, all the Rockies had to do was get three runs off the all-time saves leader (at the time) in the history of baseball, Trevor Hoffman.  And they did.  After Matt Holiday was called safe at the wild play at the plate, the entire stadium went completely bonkers.  I freaked out, screamed at the top of my lungs, and hugged everyone in sight.  The Rockies were back in the playoffs, in dramatic, spectacular fashion.

Remember Kaz Matsui’s grand slam against the Phillies in the first round of the playoffs?  Unbelievable homerun. It was only the fourth homerun of the entire season for Kaz. and it completely demoralized Philadelphia.  It wasn’t a wimpy homerun either.  Matsui crushed the ball almost all the way back his homeland of Japan.  (Slight exaggeration, but it did land at least 20 rows up in right field.)  After that shot, Philadelphia had no shot, and the Rox swept them just a few days later.

Remember the last out of the National League Championship Series against the Arizona Diamondbacks?  Eric Byrnes, unsuccessfully sliding headfirst into first base, only to be thrown out by a rocket from Troy Tulowitski.  The same Eric Byrnes, I would like to point out, who proclaimed that the Rockies “weren’t even that good,” even though the Diamondbacks failed to win a game in the series.  Good one Byrnsie.  He is now appropriately booed every time he sets foot in Coors Field.  The last out also led to the indelible image of Todd Helton thrusting his arms into the air, realizing his Rockies were  going to the World Series.

Remember when the Rockies got swept by the Red Sox in the World Series? That was a bummer.  We’re focusing on the good in this walk down memory lane though.  Not the bad.  I was crushed the Red Sox dominated us in the World Series.  But the fact the Rockies were actually in the World Series was an amazing accomplishment.  If someone would have told me at the beginning of the season the Rockies were going to win a pennant, I would have pointed you in the direction of the nearest mental asylum.  But it was the Rockies who ended up going crazy, refusing to lose in the Fall of 2007, putting on a show that all Rockies fans will remember forever.

-By Zach Cohn

Continue reading »]]> The Rockies have lost 10 of their last 13 games. We are witnessing another brutal late season swoon that has been hard to watch.

Tulo is a powerful presence, in more ways than one

Remember when they won 21 of 22 games in 2007. The Rockies went on an unprecedented, historic run to end the season. They steamrolled through the playoffs, swept the Phillies, swept the Diamondbacks, won the NL Pennant, and earned a trip to the World Series. That was a lot of fun to watch.

Then the World Series began, and the Rockies faced the vaunted Red Sox. Although it was amazing what I was watching – the Rockies actually in the World Series – it became hard to watch again.

The Rockies magic had dissipated. They were outmatched, and they were harshly swept in four games.

To make matters worse, I had tickets to Game 5. A game that never existed. Tough break.

To make matters even more depressing, I ended up having to put my childhood dog to sleep on the day that I would have gone to the World Series game. So not only did my baseball team get unceremoniously booted from the big dance, but I had to say good-bye to Nellie, who is named after the great White Sox second baseman Nellie Fox. (My pops is a die hard White Sox fan.) I had requested off from work in anticipation of going to a World Series game, so putting Nellie to sleep became a necessary – albeit very sad – task for the day. Nellie’s health was deteriorating, and since my parents and I had cleared our schedule, it was time.

It should have been one of the happiest days of my life, seeing a live Colorado Rockies World Series game. Plans changed, life threw us a curveball, and it ended up being one of the saddest days of my life.

And because I will always associate the loss of my childhood dog with the Rockies loss in the World Series, I hold a grudge against the Red Sox. Is that immature? Maybe. Nellie was not in good shape with a battle with cancer, and she did not have long regardless. But the timing of the whole situation leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and was the catalyst of my dislike for the Red Sox.

You would hate the Red Sox too if they indirectly took this cute dog away from you.

Now, four years later, I think I might have exacted a small amount of revenge, with the help of my Tulowitzki jersey.

I was in Boston recently for a wedding, and I made catching a game at Fenway a must. And not only did my fiancé and I scalp some sweet seats, but I attended the game fully decked out in Rockies gear. A white Tulo jersey. Matching Rockies hat. Purple and white Jordan sneakers. And the Red Sox were facing the Rangers. I had to be the only one in the stadium clad in purple pinstripes.

There were a few Bostonians who looked at me perplexed. The guy sitting next to me asked me why I was wearing a Rockies jersey. I told him I was a Rockies fan, just catching a game at Fenway. Little did he did he know, however, of my plan to plant a seed of Rockies mojo in the stadium, unleashing the Curse of the Great Tulowitzki. The plan went into effect immediately. The Red Sox got crushed that day 11-4. Lackey was getting hit like a piñata, including a mammoth homerun by Ian Kinsler that soared over the green monster and outside of the stadium. The capacity crowd was stunned and depressed. I was quiet.  But I had a smirk on my face.

Since that game, when I infected the mother ship of Red Sox Nation with the help of Tulo, the Red Sox have gone on an epic freefall. They have lost 16 of their last 21 games. They were 9 games up in the wild card at the beginning of September, sitting pretty going into the playoffs. Now, as October approaches, they are only one game up in the wild card, and they are fighting for their playoff lives.

This my fiance and I cheesing at Fenway, while also unleashing the Curse of Tulo

The Rockies have sucked hard this September, but they are playing their J.V. players, giving the young guns a shot. The Red Sox have sucked even harder with their Varsity squad. It looks as though the Curse of the Great Tulowitzki is taking hold.

Who knows? Maybe this curse will last as long as the Curse of the Great Bambino, and the Red Sox are entering another era of ineptitude.

- By Zach Cohn. Contact the writer at zscohn@gmail.com.

Continue reading »]]> This is an A-Z guide for the Rockies 2011 Season.

An A for Effort for E.Y. Jr. (AP/ Barry Gurierrez)

Astounding early season spurt, Appeared to be an Aberration

Blake street Bombers appears to Be Behind us

Cargo Consistently Creates Crazy Courageous Catches

De La’s trip to Disabled list Doomed the Rockies Dreams

Execution Errors, always switching Every-day lineup

Firings on the horizon after another season Failure?

Great expectations, Gross current record (70-82)

Huston Street loves Having runners on base

Infield Ineffectiveness and Inefficiencies at 2B and 3B

Jostling positions and Jettisoning players

K’s were a problem: 1107 batting K’s (12^th worst). 1040 pitching K’s (10^th worst)

Lopsided Losing record on the road Looms Large (32-42)

Memories of rocktober Makes current Misgivings Miserable

Never thought the Rockies could possibly lose Ninety games

Optimistic Outlook? cargO and tulO are sickOs

Purple Pinstriped Persistent Poor Pitching Performances  (4.42 ERA–27^th in the league)

Questionable off-season acQuisitions (ie Jose Lopez)

Rebuilding Required? after Rockies Rocky Road

Stellar Season for Some, Seth Smith Still a Stud (.285 avg.)

Troy Tulowitzki, A Talented Treasure on the Team (.304 avg. 30 HR 105 RBI)

Ubaldo Jimenez traded? Utter disappointment

Various Variables Varying because of Very many roster moves

Wondering Why We’re paying Wigginton so much

Xylophones are eXciting, and so are DeXter Fowler’s triples (15 – 2^nd in MLB)

Yearning still for an NL West title, 17 Years in

Zach Cohn has enjoyed writing about this Zany season

Continue reading »]]>

Tap the Rockies...Coors Field (Photo by Zach Cohn)

I attended the ball game Friday night at Coors field for my fiance’s birthday.  Sixteen of us rolled deep to Lower Downtown to celebrate.

The Rockies lost 4-1. Chris Nelson made two bonehead errors on one play, Cargo got ejected, Tulo didn’t play and the Rockies never got the sticks going. Just another day at the office in the disappointing 2011 campaign.

Despite all of this, the entire evening was an outstanding time.

That’s the thing about Coors field. Even if the product on the field is less than desirable, it’s still a fantastic venue for a ball game. As long as you have good company, good food, and good drink, a good time is guaranteed.

Denver is a great city to go catch a game, and Coors Field is a quality establishment.  Here are a few reasons why:

Accessibility

Coors Field is conveniently located right in the heart of lower downtown Denver, an easy bike ride for anyone who lives close.   I live by a light rail station, so we took good old public transportation to the game. Light rail is quick and convenient, and takes you all the way to Union station. After a ten minute walk we arrived at 20^th and Blake. Easy as pie. For those traveling by car, Coors Field is two minutes away from the main interstate which runs  through town. For those who prefer helicopters, I believe there is a helipad in the left field concourse, but don’t quote me on that one.

Affordability

Although beer prices might be laughable inside the stadium, ticket prices are quite reasonable.  We all sat in section 110 in right field for 14 bucks a pop. Near the right field pole, 12 rows up. You can’t beat that.  Rockpile seats are four dollars each on game days. That literally is peanuts.  (Peanuts are $3.50 inside of Coors Field.) There are price ranges for all pay grades. You can break the bank for baller front row seats, or get pampered in the Mountain Ranch club, but if you are just trying to get in the building, Coors Field is quite affordable.

Bar Scene

There are all kinds of local watering holes that surround Coors Field, adding to the overall atmosphere of Lower Downtown. Pick a bar, any bar.  Drink specials galore. Roof-top decks.  Big screen HD TV’s.   Even if you don’t have a seat at the game, you can reserve a seat at a crowded bar, and still feel like your part of the action.

Sunsets

Sunsets over the Rocky Mountains in Colorado are a staple of the state’s beauty. With the architectural set-up of Coors Field, the stadium has a way of framing this beauty. The stadium opens up to the west. Some of the best sunsets I have ever seen are from a perch in Coors Field, peering over the Rockies. (I’m talking about the actual mountain range, not the players.)

This and That

There are all sorts of amenities that add to the experience at Coors.  The Rockies Dog is delicious, with or without the generous helping of peppers and onions.  Guessing the attendance is always fun. Guessing how fast the pitches are clocked is even more fun.  The 7^th inning stretch is a good pick me-up, and the “Be my Girl” song that always plays after “Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” seems to invigorate the crowd, regardless of the score. The prospect of catching a foul ball or a home run gets the blood flowing when balls fly into your general vicinity. Watching Troy Tulowitzki is always worth the price of admission.

Bottom line, Coors Field is awesome.  The Rockies’ season, not so awesome.  But it’s still fun to go a game. That’s why our solid fan base keeps filling the seats, and that’s how the Monforts are able to pay Tulo’s contract until 2020.

By Zach Cohn